The New Loneliness-Guest Blog by Cindi McMenamin

3 Ways to Overcome Your Loneliness 

Are you feeling lonelier these days than you used to? You’re certainly not the only one. 

People have always suffered from loneliness at one time or another. But now—due to increased technology, reliance on AI, habits we developed from the COVID lockdowns, and the convenience of looking online for not just essentials, but relationships and social connections too—it’s far more persistent. We now interact through a screen rather than face-to-face. We now connect more easily online than in person. The result? Fewer conversations. Even less transparency. Next to zero relationships. Loneliness.

Whether your loneliness is caused by your work or living circumstances, a preference for internet rather than interpersonal connections, a misunderstanding or falling out with family or friends, or feeling inadequate, unprepared, unsupported, or overwhelmed, you and I were never designed to live this way. 

You don’t have to be another loneliness, anxiety, or depression statistic that is worsening daily. When you and I realize that we exist not to work or perform certain tasks (like an electronic device) but to reflect the glory of our loving Maker—and to enjoy His presence and the communion of other like-minded believers—it will transform our lives. We will not only understand who we are and why we’re here, but we will revel in our purpose, which involves so much more than producing, performing, pleasing others, or attaining perfection. We will be able to experience fulfillment and joy—and where that exists, there is no room for loneliness. 

In my book, The New Loneliness: Nurturing Meaningful Connections When You Feel Isolated,  I help you gain the confidence to initiate and nurture closer relationships with others. These three steps from my book are a great place to start: 

1. Reconnect with God.

There’s a difference between believing in God and wholeheartedly trusting Him with your everyday life. And when we begin to trust Him and His character, we can more readily extend toward and trust others. Every day this week, set aside time to get into God’s Word and discover Who He is and what He’s capable of. (A good place to start is in the book of First John). 

When you reconnect—or start to really connect—with God through His Word and a focus on His character, you’ll find your value in Him, as well as the priority He set for your life—to love Him with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to love others as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39). With a better understanding of who you are and why you were created, you will be more equipped to resolve whatever is causing your feelings of loneliness.

2.  Re-evaluate Your heart and hurts.

Have you surrendered to God your past hurts, insecurities, and feelings of inadequacy—all which can interfere with enjoying healthy relationships? We are all wounded in some way and left with scars of betrayal, abandonment, broken relationships, insecurity, or wondering if we are really loved for who we are. These scars can cover longtime hurts we didn’t know we had, and keep us from developing deeper friendships with others. Sometimes, out of a fear of being hurt, we keep those who extend toward us at a distance and thus it’s easier to text than talk or communicate via a screen rather than face to face. As you seek to better understand who you are in the light of God’s grace, forgiveness, and transformation, you can more easily trust those whom God brings your way and start developing more meaningful relationships with them. Start by asking God to take inventory of your heart and your hurts, while you remember He is the God who makes all things new—even you! (2 Corinthians 5:17).

3.  Reach out to other believers in Christ.

Who haven’t you connected with in a while because you’ve been so busy? Whose company did you once enjoy but the reconnection process is something you keep putting off? Do you have a trusted Christian friend you can talk with when your loneliness creeps in? How long has it been since you’ve felt connected with a group of believers in a local church? Personality differences and misunderstandings are inevitable—even in the church. But as you put yourself in the position, literally, where God can surround you with like-minded believers, you can grow spiritually and emotionally through whatever difficulties might arise, and not feel as lonely as you might feel today.  

You don’t have to be a part of this culture’s new loneliness. You can push through the hesitation to connect, and find yourself equipped by the Lord to be an encourager in someone’s else’s life and see that come back around to you as well. 

Which of the above steps will you focus on? I’d love to hear it in the comment section below. 

You can find out more about Cindi and her book, The New Loneliness, at her website, www.StrengthForTheSoul.com .

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker, Bible teacher, and author of 18 books with Harvest House Publishers, including her newest release, The New Loneliness: Nurturing Meaningful Connections When You Feel Isolated. Her ministry focuses on helping women strengthen their relationship with God and others. Find out more about her and her new book at www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.